


you light my fire

by amirlywritingfanficnow



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Firefighter AU, Garcia is a 9-1-1 Operator, Implied/Referenced miscarriage, Sexual Tension, The rest of them are Firefighters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:28:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26003428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amirlywritingfanficnow/pseuds/amirlywritingfanficnow
Summary: Emily's face stays complacent as JJ reaches out her hand to shake, only dropping the smug act and smiling genuinely when she reaches for JJ's hand. "Welcome to the team, Pennsylvania Petite."-Jemily Firefighter AU
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss, Luke Alvez/Penelope Garcia
Comments: 8
Kudos: 71





	1. pennsylvania petite

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first work in the criminal minds fandom and i really hope i did okay! i'm a firefighter so it's much easier to write for this than any case fic i could write hahah. 
> 
> minor garvez because i love them :)

Moving from a small town in Pennsylvania to a city as big as Los Angeles had been a culture shock for Jennifer “JJ” Jareau. Not only the setting had been completely different, but when it came to the calls she’d answer as a firefighter, she was astonished. Going from small house fires and silo rescues to earthquakes, tsunamis, and generally odd calls was definitely something new. Something she could get used to.

Applying and transferring to the Los Angeles Fire Department had honestly been a very spur of the moment thing. Her recent divorce had just finalized so she had nothing keeping her there anymore, no more connections left there for her. So, she brought it up with the Fire Chief of LA and East Allegheny and got it all worked out. In three weeks, the town she’d spent the entirety of her thirty years of life was behind her. 

Her first day on the job, she realizes that it was the best decision she could have ever made. She loved her team more than she ever thought she could love co-workers. 

There was of course the captain of the one-twelve, Captain David Rossi. She knew who he was, had watched his Firefighter Guide videos while she was in the process of getting accepted into the academy over and over. To say she was a little shocked to hear a voice she definitely had imprinted in her mind would be an understatement. Embarrassingly enough, the first she says to him is  _ ‘Oh my God, you’re the reason I didn’t completely obliterate the Chief’s interview.’  _ He doesn’t even get the chance to greet her.

Then there’s Derek Morgan, a smooth talker with a lot of that LA confidence she’d grown used to. He asked a lot of questions, seemed to notice a lot of things. He’d noticed the tan line where her ring used to be automatically and when he’d asked, he’d been hit upside the head by the Captain himself. 

She meets two of the paramedics as Rossi -  _ the only time you should call me Captain is when we’re out on calls, don’t be so formal here -  _ gives her the tour of the firehouse. 

“Callahan, Reid, this is Jennifer Jareau from Pennsylvania.” Rossi introduces. “She’s come highly recommended by Chief Hotchner.”

Reid’s eyes widened in recognition. “You’re the firefighter from Pittsburgh that did the Maneuver on a man with a gun.” 

Callahan recognizes her then, too. “That’s right! Alvez wouldn’t shut up about it, and kept showing us the video. Think you’ve got a fan here, Jennifer. Understandably, though. You’re a badass.”

JJ smiles. “It’s nice to meet you both. You can call me JJ, by the way. I’ll also be sure to have a pen at the ready if this Alvez guy asks for an autograph.”

“I wouldn’t put it past him.” Reid jokes. “Welcome to the family, JJ.”

JJ squeezes her eyes tight in embarrassment when she replies with a  _ you too. _

“You know, for someone who smoothly executed the maneuver on a man with a gun, you think you’d be a smoothtalker.” JJ hears behind her and her heart stops the second she turns around to see the embodiment of Heaven.

“Leave her alone, Prentiss.” Callahan giggles. “Just ignore her, she likes to tease.”

“People have their moments.” JJ tries to act cool. “I’m JJ, nice to meet you.”

Emily’s face stays complacent as JJ reaches out her hand to shake, only dropping the smug act and smiling genuinely when she reaches for JJ’s hand. “Welcome to the team, Pennsylvania Petite.”

Her handshake is firm and a little tight but her hands are so soft and JJ has to stop herself from asking what lotion she uses, not wanting to embarrass herself twice in one minute. 

“And what should I call you?” JJ thinks she’s flirting,  _ is she flirting? Is this how people flirt? Suggestive, teasing tones? It’s been way too long. _

“You can call me tonight.” Emily grins. “Or you could just call me Emily.”

Someone whistles from the right of them, and it’s then she realizes the others have gone in different directions and it’s just them. And someone new, they’re here too.

“As much as anyone loves sexual tension you can cut with a knife, I have to cut in before we get a call and I don’t have a chance to introduce myself. I’m Luke Alvez and will happily let you do the maneuver whenever.”

JJ laughs. “Happy to take that offer. Nice to meet you, Luke.” 

“Come get breakfast before you can’t!” Another guy calls down from the loft. 

Emily places her hand on JJ’s lower back and she prays that Emily can’t feel the chill that just went through her at her touch.  _ The last time she felt like this was when she met Will at that bar in New Orleans seven years ago. _

Emily doesn’t pull her hand away until she’s stopped pushing her to the table. JJ wants to curse herself for being the biggest bisexual disaster anyone will ever meet, but really, anyone would understand if they saw Emily. No one could blame her.

“Ooooh, is this the new probie?” The man standing the sink asks.

JJ scoffs. “I haven’t been a probie in ten and a half years, thanks.”

The man puts his hands up in defense. “My mistake, my mistake. I’m Matt Simmons, welcome to this chaotic, dysfunctional family we’ve got at the one-twelve.”

Introductions are made with three other firefighters and breakfast is half way done before the bell rings. JJ suits up in record time as she focuses on what type of scene they’re about to go to. There’s a five car pileup on the 101, no fatalities, fire and medical needed.

“You get many pileup calls in Pittsburgh?” Emily’s voice comes through the static of their headset.

“I actually worked with the East Allegheny Fire Department, thirty minutes outside of Pittsburgh so not really. It was mainly farm fires and silo rescues but we’ve been called to assist in major accidents in the city, so it shouldn’t be too new.” 

“Farm fires and silo rescues? Were you a farm girl, JJ?” Simmons teases. 

“I was more into sports than I was into anything farm related but I did have a horse. Blue.” 

“The jock and the goth trope, nice.” Alvez jokes and Emily smacks him before JJ could ask what he means. 

When they’ve pulled up to the scene, JJ’s eyes automatically land on a pregnant woman, clearly distraught. She’s holding her stomach in agony and it makes her skin crawl. Her first call with the one-twelve and memories are already being triggered.

_ Compartmentalize. Focus. Listen to instruction. _

“Alvez, Jareau, I need you with CO2 on these vehicles now. Prentiss, Simmons, make sure everyone is out safe and see who needs help. Reid and Callahan are triaging. Let’s go!”

She goes through the motions. She’s used to this, this is the job she’s done for the past ten years so it comes naturally while her mind lets her suck every emotion back in while she’s there. Alvez is already looking at her weirdly, like he can sense something’s up but there’s no way he could know why she’s gritting her teeth so hard they could crack. 

“You alright, JJ?” Alvez waves a hand in front of her face. “Focused?” 

She shakes her head to clear whatever mental fog was there. “Peachy. What’s next?” 

It’s the end of the day and after the first call, she’s not ready to go home to an empty house. 

Emily and Kate look over. “JJ, you coming out tonight?” 

Emily Prentiss, you saving grace.

“Are you paying?” She raises an eyebrow. “I’ll be there.” 

“Just ride with us, we’ll get your car in the morning.” Kate offers. “It’ll be good getting to know the newbie.” 

Emily snorts. “You know Alvez will always be the newbie. Oh, you get to meet the best 9-1-1 dispatcher tonight.” 

  
  


“Penelope, this is Pennsylvania Petite, Jennifer Jareau.” Alvez grins. “I can finally stop being the newbie.” 

“Be quiet, Newbie.” Penelope smirks. 

“Told you he’s always going to be the newbie.” Emily grins. “Alright, shots are on Luke tonight!” 

“Not fair!” 

“Aw Alvez, it’s my first day, you can’t expect me to pay?” JJ winks. 

Luke sighs. “Only because you’re a legend.” 

“Atta boy.” JJ grins and pulls on Emily’s hand, dragging her to the bar. Holding her hand feels nice. Being near her feels nice. Being at this bar with her feels so much nicer than she felt meeting Will. 

Not to say she doesn’t love Will, she probably always will love him, but he’s not here now. He’s back in Pennsylvania, and JJ needs to start new. 

She hears Penelope literally pur beside her. “Look at him.”

JJ turns her head to find Morgan dancing against three girls. He’s got moves, she’ll give him that, but she’s seen better. 

“Look at him move, he’s like a cat.” 

Emily snorts. “More like a dog.” 

“He did not ask him to dance. They asked him.” Garcia defends and JJ feels before she sees Luke tense beside her.  _ Someone’s jealous. _

“Okay, he’s a cat. An alley cat.” Emily smirks and turns to Luke. “Stop with the desperate pining and ask her to dance with you, moron.” 

Luke sighs. “I’m not drunk yet.” 

Emily just shakes her head and looks at JJ. “So what’s your story, farm girl?” 

“My story?” 

“Yeah. Why’d you move to LA? Tell me about your ex husband, if you want. Or ex wife, I don’t discriminate obviously.” 

JJ’s eyebrows raise so high they might have hit her hairline. “Well you’re getting right into aren’t you?”

“I’m nothing if not forward, you should know.” She smirks. “If you don’t feel comfortable with talking about it, you don’t have to, though. I just wanna get to  _ really know you.”  _ The wink kills JJ. 

“Ex-husband doesn’t matter. He’s in my past. What I’m really interested in is my future.” JJ really hopes she’s flirting. Like she said, she hasn’t flirted in so long so she’s kind of hopeless. 

Emily grins. “Well, let’s go show Morgan how it’s done, yeah?” She holds out her hand and JJ grabs it, lets Emily drag her to the dance floor and oh my god, she looks so good. 

She’s having more fun than she’s had in years, dancing against her coworker like she’s a pole and her body feels light and she missed getting drunk with friends. It’s been a while since she had fun while drinking alcohol. 

The only thing that would make things better if Emily would kiss her. 

Little did she know, Emily was thinking the same exact thing. 

Neither wants to complicate it though. 

Until JJ can’t take it. She takes Emily’s hand, drags her outside the bar, and kisses her with force. 

She thanks every lucky star of hers that Emily kisses right back. Everything feels heightened and yeah…

JJ is fucked.


	2. to taking it slow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JJ avoids Emily until a call goes south and she can't anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this deadass wrote itself i am apologize but... THE ANGST
> 
> peep the cameo by the most badass police sergeant there is, athena grant
> 
> tw for mentions of a miscarriage!

When JJ wakes up in nothing but a t-shirt in an unfamiliar place, she panics. The second she notices it’s Emily next to her, she runs. 

Memories from the night before come back as she sneaks her way out of Emily’s apartment and remembers her car is at the station. She remembers dragging Emily out the bar, she remembers Emily’s lips on hers, on her chest, on her hips, everywhere else. She remembers everything and she’s not sure if her nausea is brought on by the night of heavy drinking or the impending panic attack. Probably both.

She pulls out her phone and thanks her lucky stars that Luke gave her his number during the night. 

He answers the phone after the third ring. “I’m surprised you’re up before one, Pennsylvania.”

JJ pinches her nose. “I could say the same about you. Can you get me from the drugstore down the street from Emily’s and bring me to my car?”

“I’d be happy to, but why can’t Emily?”

JJ cringes. “She’s still asleep?”

“I’m sure she wouldn’t-”

“She’s asleep.” She cuts him off.

She hears Luke gasp and then snicker as he finally catches on. “Oh my God, you’re sneaking out?”

“Can you get me or not?” JJ whines. “Please.”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes with coffee.”

JJ sighs in relief. “You’re the best.”

“Don’t you ever forget it, Jareau.”

Luke pulls up in a gray Jeep, blasting some obscene pop song she did not expect him to listen to, but he’s smiling and holding out a coffee so JJ can’t hate him.

“You drank as much as me, how the fuck are you okay right now?”

Luke laughs. “You’ll come to learn that I don’t get hangovers  _ and  _ I’m a morning person. So wanna tell me why you’re sneaking out of Emily’s?”

“I fucked up and it’s too early in the morning to face it.” She sips her coffee as she feigns nonchalance. “I mean, who just, hooks up with their new co worker after their first shift?”

“Morgan.” Luke supplies. “Firefighter Todd isn’t with us anymore but it wasn’t a problem in the house because they didn’t take it to work. You see what I’m saying?”

“I’m so sorry,” JJ puts a hand to her heart at the mention of Firefighter Todd. She wasn’t aware the one-twelve had recently lost anyone. 

“Why?” Luke raises his brow but when he realizes what she means, he jumps to correct himself. “Jordan Todd is still alive and well, she’s just at a different station now.”

JJ facepalms. “I thought you said it wasn’t a problem?!” 

“Wow, I’m not explaining this right. She’s Captain at a new station, okay? She didn’t leave because of Morgan, she was just offered a higher position at the one-twenty two. Morgan just happened to hook up with her his first shift.” 

She sighs. “It wasn’t awkward?” 

“At first, sure, but only for Morgan. She didn’t care too much, and they didn’t take it to work.”

“So you’re saying I should stop being a coward and talk to Emily before our next shift?” 

“That is exactly what I’m saying.” Luke laughs. “Wanna get rid of that hangover?” 

JJ appreciates the subject change so she answers. “Um, duh.” 

“Time to work it off.” He smirks. “I was up and ready because Matt asked me to come help him set up a new crib he got in. It doesn’t seem like you want to be alone right now, and you’re here, so you down?” 

After careful consideration of her own emotions about pregnancy and babies, she agrees. 

“Great.” He grins then grabs his phone at a red let, hitting a contact and putting it to his ear. “Hey, Garcia, JJ is coming to Matt’s, tell him to make enough sandwiches for one more.”

JJ rolls her eyes as Luke’s cheeks burn red at whatever Garcia says over the phone.  _ Like he has any room to judge her when he’s got his own avoidance issues. _

“So, you wanna tell me what the hell is up with you and Penelope?”

Luke sighs. “Nothing is going on with me and Penelope.”

“Yeah, because you aren’t making it happen. I saw you last night, pathetically pining after her as Morgan flirted and danced with her.”

“He wasn’t flirting with her, that’s just how they are.” His jaw is clenched and JJ can’t help the laugh that escapes her. “How is this funny?”

“If you’re convinced he’s not flirting, you wouldn’t be getting this peeved.” She shrugs. “Why won’t you ask her out?”

“She’s not into me like that. She’ll probably either think I’m kidding or just flat out reject me.” He sighs. “I’m not this insecure guy I sound like, she just makes me… wacky.”

“Wacky is one word for it.” She laughs. “She seems to look at you a lot when you’re not looking.”

Luke sighs. “You heard Emily, I’m always just gonna be ‘Newbie’ to her.”

“Luke Alvez, you are so dumb. I know we just met yesterday, but you had my back out there on a few of those calls so I trust you. It’s your turn to trust me when I say that Penelope Garcia is definitely interested. You make her blush, dude, I can’t believe you’re this blind.”

Luke still looks unconvinced but there’s a smile threatening to reach his face as he looks over at JJ, putting the car in park. “Yeah?”

“Yes!” She grins. “Let’s go in and I’ll show you.”

They’re greeted by Matt’s wife, Kristy, and JJ instantly loves her. She follows the very pregnant Kristy to their kitchen and finds Matt, Rossi, and Garcia standing at the table, reading something out of a brown book. 

“What’s that?” Luke asks as he walks over.

“The Simmons Stories! When Matt used to travel for his job, he’d come home and tell the kids everything he saw. I begged him to start writing them down, and we found that the kids loved hearing him read it more so they just became… The Simmons Stories.” Kristy grins. “Baby number five kicks every time he reads them, so they’re a hit with them.”

“Baby number five?” JJ whistles. “You’re a saint.”

_ “One day, little baby Henry or Aubrey is going to be a brother or sister,” Will grins, reaching over to grab JJ’s hand as he drives with the other. _

_ “Slow down, buddy, we still don’t know if it’s Henry or Aubrey in this tiny belly.” She pats the barely visible bump. _

_ “I’m sorry, I’m just so excited to start the family we’ve dreamed of.” He kisses JJ’s knuckles. _

_ “Our family,”  _

JJ shakes the memory from her mind and prays no one notices. Kristy is giving her a questioning look, and Rossi is giving her a knowing one. She figures he would know, thinks it’s probably in her file within the Department. 

She smiles at the two of them before clearing her throat. “Luke told me there was a crib to build?” 

Kristy looks to Matt who grimaces before smiling sheepishly at his wife. “Well, uh, we’ve tried quite a bit but you can take a shot at it, if you please?” 

JJ laughs. “Hit me.” 

She understands Matt’s sheepishness twenty minutes later when she can’t get the crews to line up with the half she’d helped build. 

“Color me impressed. You’ve got done more than these guys got done in two hours. How do you know so much about cribs?” Penelope grins and JJ knows she’s messed up by teasing the other’s as well, talking too much about how they’re supposed to do this, stay away from doing that, the silliest mistake in building one of these is following instructions.

_ “We don’t even know the gender yet, why are we setting up the nursery so soon?” JJ laughs as Will hugs her from behind, staring down at a bunch of pieces of wood, not at all resembling the crib WIll had just tried to build.  _

_ “Your mom paid for the grib, why not set it up, yeah? I just need a bit of help. These directions make no sense!”  _

_ “Leave the building to mama!” JJ grins and thanks her lucky stars that she’s not so pregnant she can’t squat without ease.  _

_ Will keeps an arm around JJ’s upper arm, right by her shoulder. “Hey now, be careful there, you’re holding a fragile package in that body of yours!” _

_ JJ rolls her eyes. “We’re both fine, now help me unload the rest of the parts.”  _

“The real question is why Matt  _ doesn’t  _ know more about these things?” She deflects. “He’s got baby number five on the way, he should have practice in this.”

JJ doesn’t check her phone until she’s finally back at her apartment. She’s got six texts from Emily and she doesn’t open them until she’s got two glasses of wine in her system.

**_Emily P.:_ ** _ wasn’t expecting your side of the bed to be so cold _

**_Emily P.:_ ** _ your bra is still kickin around my place _

**_Emily P.:_ ** _ you don’t have to like, be into me or think it’s serious but we should talk about it  _

**_Emily P.:_ ** _ haven’t had someone ignore me like this after sex since college but _

**_Emily P.:_ ** _ it’s not like we’re adults or anything _

**_Emily P.:_ ** _ or co workers. But see you tomorrow  _

JJ knows she’s one hundred percent being a coward but she shuts her phone off without responding. She can tell Emily’s pissed, can’t blame her for feeling that way, but JJ feels stuck. She doesn’t know what to say, even with Luke’s advice to talk to her in the back of her mind, so she says nothing.

She’s scared of how much she feels so soon. It’s too much like Will and she’s barely been divorced a month, she shouldn’t be thinking about someone like this so soon. 

_ Why is she acting like a teenager right now? Why is she being such a coward? _

JJ has been on shift for an hour and the cold shoulder from Emily chills her to her bones. It’s her second shift with the one-twelve and she’s already causing drama,  _ who the hell is she? _

This wasn’t JJ. Jennifer Jareau always kept to herself, at her station in East Allegheny and when growing up. She surrounded herself with sports, school work and then firefighting, that was all she ever was until she met Will. Then she became a wife, but that never caused drama. She was simple, JJ was simple.

Now she’s causing tension at her new job and to Emily, she’s and Luke, she’s not simple. She’s a coward. A drama queen, maybe. Stupid?

Luke places himself next to her and takes a plate from the sink in front of them. “So, what happened with talking to Emily before shift?”

JJ hides her face with wet hands as she groans. “I know, I’m a coward.”

Luke snickers at the bubbles that land in her hair before he gets serious, although keeping a smile of pity on his face. “Maybe. I get how hard it is, though, so I won’t be too hard on you. But maybe talk to her soon, because I know Emily, and she’s never this cold unless she’s hurt.”

JJ sighs. “You’re right, I need to man up and talk to her.”

“She’s in the gym right now.”

“Talk to her now?” JJ questions.

“Now’s as good a time as any.” He winks as he walks off. 

She hates it, but he has a point, so she dries her hands and hypes herself up before walking down to the gym. She finds Emily bench pressing, lifting a weight high enough to warrant a spotter. “Need a spot?”

Emily looks up and rolls her eyes before going back to lifting. 

JJ gulps after she doesn’t receive more of an answer. “I know you’re pissed but can we please talk?”

“So now you wanna talk?” She raises an eyebrow as she sits up. 

JJ winces at her tone. “I need to apologize-”

She doesn’t get to finish her sentence before the bell rings for the first time that shift. JJ can’t decide if she’s happy or pissed that she was interrupted.

There’s an apartment fire that calls for Fire, Medical, and Police presence and with that, JJ can tell it’s going to be a tough call. The second they arrive at the scene, she puts every negative emotion she’s feeling and the situation away for when people’s lives aren’t at stake. 

A female cop greets them. “Sergeant Grant,” She holds out her hand to shake Rossi’s.

“Captain David Rossi. What’s the situation?” 

“There’s a hostage situation in one of the apartments that hasn’t been affected yet. Says if we send it Fire and Rescue, he’ll shoot anyone that comes up. Says he started the fire in apartment 9B.” She explains as she points to a window on the second floor, engulfed in flames as well as six stories of apartments. “We have a hostage negotiator setting up right now.”

JJ stands back as Rossi accesses the situation in front of them, frustrated herself that a building is burning with people in it and it’s not cleared to enter. More stations pull up and she watches as Sergeant Grant explains the situation at hand when JJ sees it in the corner of her eyes. On the second floor, a woman breaks her glass window with a chair and screams. 

JJ breaks her own promise to leave her personal life out of the job the second she cries out  _ help me, please, help, I’m pregnant.  _ Everything else fades out, including the rational part of JJ’s brain that’s screaming at her not to run into a burning building that hasn’t been cleared, it’s all drowned out by  _ please, help, I’m pregnant, don’t let my baby die! _

She’s bolting towards the building before her mind can even catch up with her feet, hears Captain Rossi yelling for her to stop, there’s a man with a gun in one of these apartments, but she can’t get herself to stop running. 

By the time she gets to the second floor and to the apartment she prays she calculated the location correctly, she notices Emily is behind her with her mask and a mask in her hand. 

JJ kicks the door, kicks it harder when it doesn’t budge and she hears a shout. 

“JJ!” She hears clearly, and before she can turn, a beam swings down and everything goes black.

When her eyes flutter open, she can’t tell the past from reality. Callahan and Reid are standing over her, checking her over but all JJ can feel is the phantom pain in her uterus, and all she can hear is her own screams. 

_ “The baby, the baby! Henry! Aubrey!” JJ wails, clutching onto her stomach and feels the small bump, can sense the lifelessness. Anderson stands over her, tries to get her to stop screaming and calm her enough to check her over.  _

_ “Jennifer, you need to calm down so we can check you over. Captain Strauss already called Will, he’s meeting us there, okay? Calm down.” _

_ “My baby!” _

“JJ! You have to calm down!” Emily soothes. “You need to be checked over.”

“Henry,” She sobs. “Baby-”

_ “I’m so sorry Mrs. LaMontagne. Between the blast and the impact, it led you to miscarry.” _

_ Will grips on tighter. “I’m so sorry, Will, I’m so sorry. I didn’t tell them, I was going to tell them.” _

“You with us Jayje?” She gasps awake. “Hey, there you are. Keep your eyes open, yeah?” 

_ Anderson? No, that’s not Anderson. Alvez? No, that’s not right either. Reid? Reid seems right.  _

“Yeah, it’s Reid, c’mon, keep your eyes open for us.” He brings a light pen to her eyes. “Follow me?”

She tries her best to follow, she does fine, but she can’t keep her eyes open any longer. For a third time, everything goes black.

When she wakes again, she hears beeping. She sees white walls and smells peroxide and she thinks she’s in a hospital until her eyes land on Emily. 

“Is this Heaven?” Her voice is raspy but she knows Emily hears her when she jumps.

Emily rolls her eyes. “You should be so lucky.” 

“Waking up with you by my bedside? I feel pretty lucky.” She winces when she tries to move.

Emily laughs before she turns serious again. “You’re really fucking stupid, you know that?”

Everything comes rushing back after that. The apartment fire, the hostage situation, the-

“The pregnant woman? What happened to her?” She demands.

Emily rushes to push JJ back down. “JJ, you can’t be up right now.”

JJ pushes back. “Emily, what happened to her?” 

Emily gulps. “She’s in critical condition last I heard.”

“No. No.” JJ breaks. “The baby?”

Emily shakes her head. “I haven’t heard anything, but that doesn’t matter right now. What matters is you being okay and you’re clearly not okay. What the hell was that, JJ? We’re a team, we have each other’s backs, but that building was not cleared and it’s like the second you saw that woman, that didn’t matter.” 

“It didn’t.”

“What?"

“It didn’t matter.” JJ shakes her head. “I’m sorry.”

The doctor walks in before Emily has the chance to say anything. JJ tries her best to listen to what the doctor tells her, listens enough to know she has a concussion and that she needs to take it easy for the next two weeks. She almost doesn’t want the doctor to leave, because she knows the second he does, Emily is going to ask. 

And she does. She asks, but not in a way JJ expects. “Who are Henry and Aubrey?” 

JJ sucks in a breath. “Or.”

“What?”

“Henry or Aubrey. It was too early to know the baby’s gender.”

Emily gasps. “JJ…”

“We had the crib set up, though. Didn’t matter that we didn’t know the gender, we were just so excited.” She sniffs. “I planned to tell my Captain that I was pregnant that day, but I never got the chance. We were called to a farm fire, and everything was going fine and normal until it wasn’t… there was an explosion. I remember screaming, the pain was so bad.”

Emily grabs her hand. “Oh, Jayje, I’m so sorry.”

JJ shrugs. “I’m sorry I’ve been a coward.”

“We don’t have to talk about that right now.” Emily whispers.

“I do.” She gulps. “Please.”

Emily just nods and keeps quiet.

“The last time I felt this strongly about someone this quickly, we got married after three months. Now he’s not here, he wanted a divorce because of how I handled losing my baby. I can’t- I can’t ruin something again because of my- guilt. I woke up next to you? Before I fully panicked and ran? I wanted it to keep happening and I was scared because-” She chokes on a cry. “Because things will end horribly if they go this fast. I left because I was scared.”

It’s quiet, too quiet, for too long. JJ knows her heart is racing and Emily does too because of the monitor. That’s what makes Emily break the silence. 

“I know firefighting is a fast paced job, always on your toes and racing to get to fires, but you don’t always have to be a firefighter.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you can take things slow once in a while. There’s nothing wrong with that.” Emily smiles. 

“Take things slow.” JJ repeats. “Yeah.”

“I don’t know about you, but I forgive you.” Emily smirks and grabs one of the cups of apple juice sitting on the tray in front of JJ, before handing her one of her own. “Friends?”

JJ smiles. “Friends.”

Emily starts to giggle and toasts the apple juice in her hand. “To taking things slow!”

JJ snorts in the middle of drinking from the tiny cup, apple juice spilling down her hospital gown, which JJ finds uncomfortable but Emily forgives her and is smiling at her like they’re the only two people left on earth, so JJ can’t bring herself to be mad. 

“To taking things slow!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT!! LOVE ME!! i

**Author's Note:**

> going kind of fast there, huh, ladies???? 
> 
> next chapter will be up on saturday :)
> 
> please comment, tell me how i did????


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